Merilee Candace Carlson

The first thing you noticed about Merilee was her exquisite beauty: perfectly coiffed platinum blonde hair and a fabulously fit body that rocked the micro miniskirts of her young adulthood. Everyone wanted to look like Merilee. Cousin Nancy remembers Merilee attempting to help her reach perfection by insisting that she wear make-up at age 12. “I was eternally grateful.” Of course, perfection is a full-time job, and older brother Ward recalls Merilee keeping a detailed list of when and where she wore each ensemble to avoid the horrendous mistake of repeating an outfit. In 1964 the young beauty was crowned runner-up in the Miss West St. Paul beauty pageant. (There MUST have been some mix-up that prevented that crown from descending on Merilee’s rightful head.)

The second thing you noticed about Merilee was her RADIANT smile and wonderfully wry sense of humor. Her younger brother Tim’s last memory of his sister is seeing that beautiful smile still shine brightly through her ALS-ravaged body. Unable to speak, Merilee would smile and draw hearts to her family on those Facetime calls.

The third thing you noticed was her optimism, generosity, and discomfort with being in the spotlight. That seems contradictory, given her run at that coveted Miss West St. Paul title, but Merilee, like her mother Isabel, always shone the light on YOU, sincerely asking how YOU are, what do YOU need, how can she help YOU? Merilee avoided seeing doctors for eight decades. When she began having issues swallowing and finally had to seek medical help at age 81, she answered concerned queries about her heath with an uncomfortable batting away of the attention: “No, no, no. I don’t want to focus on me, how are YOU doing?” Tim noted that Merilee always presented herself as smiling, and pulled-together, no matter what challenges she faced.

Her daughter Gina said that her Mom’s preferred love language was giving presents. Nothing made her happier than giving to others. Merilee was BLISSFUL when living in one care facility because she could play BINGO and win prizes to gift to her beloved grandsons, daughter and facility staff. Fueled by a deep concern over Gina and Tony’s unnatural focus on trying to provide “HEALTHY” foods for the boys, Grandma Merilee dedicated herself to making sure A.J. and Chase had a steady supply of homemade brownies and chocolate cake. Her efforts most likely kept them both alive….

Merilee was born and raised in St. Paul, Minnesota. Parents Isabel and Babe Mens had three children, with Merilee sandwiched between brothers Ward and Tim. Babe’s brother Bud married Isabel’s sister, Bernice, so the couples rented a duplex and their seven kids (Bea and Bud had Terry, Nancy, Gloria and Freddy) grew up almost as siblings. Ward remembers that they shared a party line phone (Riverview 0446). If the call was for someone next door they would pound on the wall 3 times. Issy and Babe finally moved up the hill to Stryker Ave where the kids experienced the luxury of their own bedroom. Merilee worked as a car hop at the Silver Top drive-in and attracted her share of suitors. But it was tall, dark-haired, debonair Ron Wandersee who won Merilee’s heart, and the couple followed Ron’s job at Univac to the East Coast where they had their beautiful daughter Gina (truly the light of Merilee’s life). Merilee worked as Executive Assistant at various companies and Gina remembers HINTS that perhaps her Mom worked for the CIA in Virginia, not far from their home. Cousin Abbie remembers visiting that Virginia home and being captivated by the powder blue carpet, WHITE living room furniture and velvet wallpaper. Uncle John and Aunt Gloria also visited and regaled their daughters with tales of Merilee’s BEAUTIFUL gold-inlaid table and her elegant hosting prowess. True to form, Merilee presented beauty and perfection.

But sometimes fairytales end. The couple divorced and Merilee’s heart was next captivated by handsome Judd Carlson. The trio moved to Pennsylvania, then briefly to Irving, Texas followed by New Orleans, where Judd was an advertising/marketing executive with McDonalds restaurants. Ward remembers being impressed by Judd’s beautiful briefcase with his name embossed on it.

During their decades-long marriage, Merilee and Judd, along with various family and friends, travelled the world. Merilee was the Cruise Queen – always watching for the next bargain so they could sail to another far-off land. She was very proud of the fact that she travelled to more countries than anyone else in her family.

Once Gina left for college the peripatetic couple briefly lived in Minneapolis/St. Paul but then set off to make their fortune in Las Vegas, where Merilee began selling cars, soon earning the title of TOP SALESPERSON for several years in a row at Friendly Ford of Las Vegas. The woman could SELL, a talent inherited from her mother Isabel, AKA the Copper Queen (with multiple copper crowns to prove it). Merilee thoroughly enjoyed this career, although she did say that she hated Friday morning Technical Talks, where each salesperson had to explain various detailed car specs. These technical details didn’t catch her fancy, which never slowed her success. Merilee finally retired from vehicle sales at age 70 and the couple moved to Scottsdale, Arizona to be near Gina and family. She worked part time at Burlington Coat Factory for the last decade, creating beautiful displays that showcased and sold the merchandise.

When Judd developed Parkinson's which affected his memory and coordination Merilee temporarily quit her job to become a full-time caretaker for him. She nursed him through very difficult times, sometimes sleeping in front of the apartment door so he wouldn’t wander out at night. During these painful years, Merilee once again presented an optimistic visage, never complaining, always asking about YOU.

After Judd’s passing in 2022, Merilee moved to an apartment close to Gina, doted on her grandkids, enjoyed family dinners at Cane’s and Red Lobster, and was involved with her church’s ministry. When she wasn’t enjoying online slots and Keno she checked in with loved ones across the globe, making sure to share lots of cat videos. (Merilee historically had BEAUTIFUL Persian & Himalayan cats. Wee Huey was HUGE and knocked over her furniture, and her very “special” Lamb Chop terrorized everyone except Merilee.)

Merilee gave her last lovely smile the week preceding her passing on October 23rd. Our world is less bright without her in it. However, Merilee Candace is now blissfully enjoying catching up with Issy, selling newer model harps to the angels, and travelling to the furthest corners of heaven. Frankly, we can’t WAIT to see what she’s done with the place.

Merilee is survived by light-of-her-life daughter Gina Beth (Tony Coletta) and grandkids Anthony James “AJ,” 19, and Chase Brennan, 16. Preceded in death by parents Isabel Genevieve Mens and Edward “Babe” Mens, husband Phillip “Judd” Carlson, and OG husband Ronald Wandersee.

A brief memorial service will be held on November 20th at 10:30 a.m. in the Memorial Garden at La Casa de Cristo Church, 6300 E Bell RD, Scottsdale, AZ. The service will be recorded, and a link will be posted for later viewing.