Virginia L Elsner

Our mom, Virginia Lorraine Elsner, was born in Spearfish, South Dakota, in 1934. Her family’s roots reached back to pioneers who traveled west to the Dakotas by wagon train. Mom came from strong people. And she gave my brothers and me a durable foundation of our own—a childhood filled with love.

We could never have asked for a better mother. She nurtured us and found so many special ways to make us feel loved. When I was a little girl, Mom made my dresses with matching headbands and attached matching pom-poms to my socks. She made matching outfits for my brothers. She made Dad’s western shirts, complete with pearl snaps and yokes. She was an excellent seamstress. Looking back, I see how much love went into every stitch.

Mom met my dad, James H. Pearson, in Rapid City, South Dakota. Dad served in the United States Air Force, and military life took our family to various places, including Europe. Wherever we lived, Mom made it home.

That love stayed strong through the hardest times. When my oldest brother, Gary, was nineteen, a car accident changed his life; he broke his neck. For months, Mom, Dad, Larry, and I drove from Spokane to Tacoma every weekend to be with him. We made darn certain he did not feel alone or feel life was over. Gary went on to live a full life in a wheelchair for fifty years after the accident, surrounded by the love of his family. Mom’s devotion was part of that love, every step of the way.

Mom would have driven to the moon and back for her children.

My brother Larry was especially close to Mom. She always lit up when she saw him—even when his hair was almost down to his waist. Mom and Dad loved us without judgment. And if anyone tested their patience, it was me. I was a bit of a wild child.

Mom and I shared a love of horses. Before we had any of our own, she would pull over whenever we saw some horses close enough to a fence to pet them. I still treasure those little roadside stops. Eventually, Dad bought me a pony. One horse became four, and after Dad retired, we returned from Minot, ND, to Spokane, and we got our ranch. We never looked back. When I trained racehorses, Mom and Dad were a huge part of that life. I have so many winner’s-circle pictures of Mom smiling and clapping with excitement. She took such joy in the things we loved.

My dad passed away at sixty-five. His loss changed our lives. But a couple of years later, a new chapter began for Mom.

She met my precious stepdad, Paul Elsner, through a hospice support group. Paul had also lost his wife, Margaret. Through shared grief, they found friendship. And friendship became love. They both wanted to spend winters in Arizona, and soon they were planning a life together. When they married, Mom wore my wedding dress. That will always be especially precious to me.

Paul brought more family into our lives, including his sons, Jay and David. We hit it off right away with them. We have since lost Jay, and I am grateful David is here with us today.

Mom and Paul shared nearly thirty years of marriage and a good life together. Paul has so much love in his heart for our family. His love for Mom was immeasurable. And when her health began to fail, he showed that love every day.

As dementia changed Mom’s daily life, Paul took on the cooking, the cleaning, and her care. I helped change their bed and fill her medication boxes. But most of the daily responsibility rested on him. He cared for her in more ways than I can name. Paul, thank you for loving Mom so faithfully.

When it was time for hospice to help, Paul and I cared for Mom together, day and night. With their support, we kept her comfortable and surrounded by love until she passed on October 21. Please keep Paul in your prayers as he faces life without her. Mom loved him so much, and I am deeply grateful for the life they shared.

Our faith gives us comfort as we say goodbye. I believe Mom is at peace in God’s kingdom, free from pain and suffering, and reunited with loved ones who went before her. I picture her with Gary, my dad, her parents, grandparents all of them whole and at peace. No more sadness. No more tears. No more pain.

I am so grateful to this church for shepherding Mom and Paul. Thank you, Pastor Taran, for your comforting words, for reading Scripture, and for praying with us and for us.

Dear Lord, thank You for the gift of our mother. Please comfort everyone who misses her, especially Paul. Help us carry her love into the lives of others. Amen.

Mom, you spent your life making us feel loved. We will carry that love with us always. Mom, rest peacefully, knowing how deeply you are loved in return.