Amelia Marie Hartsgrove

Amelia Marie "Big Millie" Hartsgrove (nee Citro) died peacefully surrounded by her daughters and grandchildren at Hearthstone Manor in Woodstock, Illinois on Monday, October 16 at the age of 84. Millie is survived by her daughter Laura Ann Hirst of Woodstock, Illinois (and grandchildren Benjamin Hirst and wife Paige Busch Hirst of Walworth, Wisconsin, Samuel Hirst and his wife Becca Hirst of Hebron, Illinois, Maxwell Hirst of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, Jacob Hirst of Genoa City, Wisconsin and Zachary Hirst of Woodstock, Illinois), daughter Kristy Hartsgrove Mooers of Iowa City, Iowa (along with her husband Mark Hartsgrove Mooers), her devoted sisters Linda Davis of Scottdale, Pennsylvania and Petie Slater of York, Pennsylvania. She is preceded in death by her brother Daniel.

Millie was born on April 12, 1939 in McKeesport, Pennsylvania to Daniel and Anna Citro (nee Wasko). She graduated from Indiana University of Pennsylvania in 1960 with a degree in English Literature and her teaching license. She immediately headed to Atlantic City to make money as a cocktail waitress and spend time in New York City during the Golden Age of Broadway, where she routinely snuck into theatres with her best friend Ira Handelsman after the show started (and she saw Carol Lawrence and Larry Kert in West Side Story as many times as she could). She also saw Nina Simone before she was famous in a little side street cafe in the Village (what can we say? Mom was really cool). It was around this time that Mom married her first husband, but as she said "It didn't take." Her second marriage was to James Wesley Hartsgrove II of Highlands, New Jersey, and she had her two daughters with him. They were married in New Jersey where they had their eldest daughter Laura, then lived for a short time in California where daughter Kristy was born, and finally settled for good in the suburbs of Chicago where they separated amicably in 1980 and divorced in 1988.

She did eventually use her teaching degree, changing the lives of high school students in Long Branch, New Jersey and Roselle, Illinois. She taught her daughters to read words when we were still toddlers, and the love of books, reading and writing felt almost genetic in our family. Mom was always the smartest, wittiest, snarkiest person in every room she entered, and if she loved you, you knew it. She could talk about politics, sports, B-movies, Star Trek, and all manner of science fiction with anyone, and everyone loved sitting around with Ma because no one was warmer or funnier than her. She made devoted friends everywhere she went, and we are eternally thankful to her neighbors Connie and Jim who looked out for her like she was their own family when she was starting to decline. She was a fiercely independent spirit, which made her passing from Alzheimer's all the more terrible, because she had to let people take care of her and that was just not in her nature. Until the last months of her life she was cracking wise and still drawing incredible detailed portraits of her nurses and her friends at Hearthstone. The last few months were very hard, but her passing was so peaceful, and she was surrounded by so much love.

Prior to the onset of Alzheimers, Mom had set up her end of life plan, and her wish is to be cremated and scattered at sea by the Neptune Society. There is no gathering planned; if you want to remember her please send donations to the American Kidney Fund (kidneyfund.org). Maybe take a listen to West Side Story (the original Broadway cast recording) and think of her. If you happen to be one of her Trekkie friends, please roar at the heavens to let them know a great warrior is arriving. Thank you to everyone who loved Ma and looked out for her, and special thanks to the caregivers and hospital staff of Hearthstone Community in Woodstock, Illinois for their care and dedication to our mom.