Susan M McConnell

Sue McConnell was born a Campbell in St. Paul MN. While in elementary school, the family moved to Orangeville, a small town in southern MI where her father was pastor at the Baptist church. Though the life of a pastor’s family was a modest one, Sue and her sisters created many wonderful memories of entertaining themselves in the church and parsonage. One such memory were weekly “Fun for Five” nights when Sue and her sisters to entertain their parents with skits, songs, and magic tricks. Though Sue lived much of her childhood in Michigan, she retained deep attachments to Minnesota. Despite long car rides with no air conditioning, many of her favorite memories involved time with her sisters and cousins on the family farm.

As a student at Michigan State University, Sue met Bill McConnell through her older sister. What started as a tutoring friendship, turned into a loving, lifelong partnership. They were married in 1971, and moved to Gales Ferry, CT shortly after when Bill joined the Navy. Sue was quickly thrown into life as a Navy wife. Perhaps her experience as a “PK” (pastor’s kid) gave her the creative skills to thrive in this role. Sue hosted parties, kept the house together while Bill was away at sea and found her way into many rewarding activities.

When Bill left the Navy and found his way to a local company, Sonalysts, Sue embarked on her journey into motherhood as her daughter Nicole (Nikki) was born in 1979. Again, Sue poured her imagination and caring into parenting. Sue would often say that “every age was the best age” when talking about her daughter, and she always found that positive frame for even the challenging toddler and teenage years.

Though Sue spent a significant period during this time focusing on her parenting job, when Nikki left elementary school, she took a job as a part-time Media Assistant in the library at the Ledyard Middle School. Sue loved the opportunity to connect with the students there, forming some enduring friendships. After a few years at the middle school, she accepted a full-time job at Sonalysts, writing operating manuals for computer games of simulated naval combat. It was a perfect job for Sue, as she was always extremely detail-oriented. She loved working with the gaming group, and time in “the Cave” (as their office space was known) involved a rich mix of laughter and work.

In 2012, Sue became a grandmother when Nikki and her husband John had their first child, Gabriel. As much as Sue loved being a mother, her calling was as a “grammy.” By the time Nikki and John had their second child, Avery, in 2015, Sue and Bill were in the process of moving to Cedar Crest Village (a continuing care facility in Pompton Plains, NJ). Moving to New Jersey allowed Sue and Bill to play an active role in their grandchildren’s lives; hosting sleepovers and planning treasure hunts for Gabe and Avery was one of Sue’s favorite things to do.

Life at Cedar Crest led to many wonderful friendships for Sue, as well as many opportunities for fun. Sue enjoyed being in the theater group during her first years. When she was no longer able to be on stage, Sue started participating in the Playwriting Group. Her gifts for both humor and drama led to many memorable short plays. In one play of special merit, Tiny Little Arms, Sue dealt with her own physical handicaps by comparing her limited range of motion to the short arms of a T-Rex.

Sue had many hobbies, each of which was an opportunity to express her creative passion and a striving for perfection. For much of the ‘80’s, Sue was active in community theater through the United Methodist Players and the local Rotary Club. Sue made all her roles memorable, but a favorite was Adelaide in Guys and Dolls, for which she dyed her hair blonde. Sue won local awards for her costume design and creation for these plays, and some of these costumes are still in use by a family friend in the theater department at Carrboro High School in North Carolina. Sue’s gardens were magnificently beautiful, often started from seed in the winter in the basement of their house. Throughout the years, Sue planned and hosted myriad events, always filled with laughter, games and delicious food. Sue’s creativity knew no bounds, and she was able to channel it in many ways.

In her 50's, Sue began a challenging medical journey. Diagnosed in 2005 with incurable slow-growing lymphoma, Sue was initially told that people with this condition live, on average, seven years. However, Sue was determined to beat those odds and found her way the following year to a stem-cell transplant thanks to a donor she never met named Stefan in Germany. This transplant ended the lymphoma but was the beginning of an auto-immune disease which significantly impacted the rest of her life. In 2022, Sue was diagnosed with squamous cell skin cancer on the top of her head. Though Sue endured surgeries and treatments to try to contain this cancer, it eventually mutated and metastasized. Over more than two decades, Sue found determination to continue through each medical setback. Her medical team gave her phenomenal treatment, and Sue endeared herself to many of those who provided her care. However, as skin cancer became harder to manage, and treatments became more experimental with severe side effects, Sue finally decided that she was ready to be done with the pain. She was as determined in choosing to move to hospice care as she had been in all her other medical choices. She lived her last days with as little pain as medication could manage.

Sue is survived by her husband Bill, daughter, Nikki, son-in-law John, beloved grandchildren Gabe and Avery, sisters Ruth Benjamin (Hank) and Linda Campbell (Art Feingold), niece Tamah and nephew Steven (Hannah). Sue used her experiences to give realistic encouragement to others facing cancer diagnosis and treatment. She had a special ability to connect with children in treatment without sugarcoating or being condescending. Sue touched many lives and she had genuine concern for and interest in everyone who came into her life. Her spirit will live on through her family, friends and those whose lives she touched.

There are two gatherings planned, both at Cedar Crest Village, 1 Cedar Crest Drive, Pompton Plains NJ, 07444:

● Calling Hours on Sunday, August 2, from 2 to 5 p.m. at the Woodland Commons Conference Center

● A Memorial Service will be held on Saturday, August 22 at 1:30 p.m. in the Cedar Crest Chapel

Sue practiced immense generosity throughout her life. In lieu of flowers, please consider honoring Sue with a donation to one of her many preferred organizations:

 Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation: https://www.cncfhope.org

 CaringBridge https://www.caringbridge.org/

 Dana Farber Cancer Institute Homepage | Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or John Theurer Cancer Center (Hackensack Meridian Health) HMH - John Theurer Cancer Center - Hackensack | Hackensack Meridian Health

 Community Food Bank of New Jersey www.cfbnj.org

 ACLU www.aclu.org