Bette L. Arey

Bette Arey, age 78, of Farmington, CT, passed away at home on February 26, 2025. She was diagnosed with polycythemia vera many years ago. After a long period of successfully managing her illness, she developed leukemia. Bette had the courage and determination to undergo a stem cell transplant at age 76, which, while ultimately unsuccessful, extended her life for a period of time. She died following a courageous battle with leukemia.

Bette was born in Concord, NH to Howard R. Arey and Eleanor “Nellie” Pinker Arey. She lost her mother at a young age. After that, she was raised by her grandmother Minnie Hoffses Arey, and her step-mother Jennie Arey. Bette attended school in Concord and went on to graduate from the University of New Hampshire. She earned a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Connecticut in 1982.

Bette is survived by her loving family, brother and sister-in-law, Raymond and Marilyn Arey of Loudon, NH, her brother Theodore W. Arey of Fort Pierce, FL, and niece Raelee Arey of Lake Jackson, TX. Bette is also survived by many cousins and family members whom she enjoyed being with. Bette is survived by longtime friends who shared and enjoyed much of their adult life with Bette and more recently assisted in her treatment journey both locally and at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute as well as Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston. Some of her loving friends are Patricia Wilcox and Roger Nielson, Doris LaPlante and Linda Cimino, Patricia Verde, Barbara Ryan, and Vicky Aldrich.

Bette had a meaningful and long career as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializing in medical social work, geriatrics, hospice care, cancer care and mental health. Bette moved from New Hampshire as a new college grad, to Hartford to take a job as an aide at the Institute of Living. She subsequently worked for the then CT Department of Welfare, Mount Sinai Hospital in Hartford, Bristol Hospital as Director of Social Work, Farmington Valley VNA where she developed their hospice program, UConn Health Cancer programs, and later had a mental health private practice in New Britain.

Bette developed her interests in swimming and boating from her childhood on Lake Winnipesaukee at the family cottage that her father built. She worked for her father who owned and operated Arey’s Marina. Bette was proud of hiking the New Hampshire peaks in her youth and continued to hike and enjoy the outdoors her whole life. Her love of downhill skiing was also formed on the NH slopes and she later added cross country skiing to her activities. Bette had many water adventures with friends on her Sunfish and kayak. In recent years Bette enjoyed swimming, kayaking, hiking and cross-country skiing at Winding Trails in Farmington.

As a young adult Bette traveled cross country with friends and went to Europe on $5 a day. Her enthusiasm for travel continued with later trips to Aruba, Bolivia, Spain, Italy, Greece, Iceland, and Africa. Bette enjoyed reading, following the news, photography and the UConn basketball games. She enjoyed concerts and listening to music, especially folk music, including her favorite, Joan Baez, whom she saw multiple times. Bette was absorbed in her role as “honorary” aunt to Gabriela and Olivia, regularly interacting in their lives, and sharing annual vacations at Lake Winnipesaukee and Cape Cod. Bette looked forward to being with her family on holidays in Concord, Boston and Vernon, and at The Lake for the Arey reunions, always coming prepared with a homemade apple pie and fresh fruit bowl. Most notable was Bette’s loyalty to her friends and family and the enjoyment she found with them all. She was a thoughtful, generous and attentive friend and relative, ready to listen to all, and participate in every activity and holiday. We will all miss receiving her well-chosen, individualized cards for every celebratory event. Most of all we will miss Bette.

Bette was very appreciative of the insightful care she received for decades with Dr. Stephen Firshein, his office staff and The Infusion Center. Bette had great trust and appreciation for the staff at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, especially Dr. Daniel D’Angelo and Dr. Mahasweta Gooptu. She was also grateful to her aide Sylvia, who cared daily for Bette in the last months of her life.

A Memorial Service will be held at Flagg Road United Church of Christ, 134 Flagg Road, West Hartford, CT on April 12, 2025 at 1:30pm. Burial will occur at a later date at Blossom Hill Cemetery in Concord, NH.

Memorial donations may be made in Bette’s name to the Loon Preservation Committee, P.O, Box 604, Moultonborough, NH or [email protected], or to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Adult Leukemia Research or Hematology Research, 10 Brookline Place, Brookline, MA, 02445 or jimmyfund.org/gift.