Christopher S Stanley

I am sad to say my brother, Christopher Scott Stanley passed away on Easter, 4/16/17. He had a severe choking incident while dining out with two good friends. His friends and other diners trained in CPR nor the paramedics were able to revive him. Additionally, the staff at IU West worked another 45 minutes to no avail. Services and reception will take place Saturday 4/22/17 from around 11:00 until 2:00 at: Life Journey Church 2950 East 55th Place Indianapolis, IN We were pleased to have this church available for a service. The Life Journey Church is open and very accepting to all members of the LGBTQ and immigrant community. Pastor Vivian Wyatt will lead a short service starting at 11:30-12:00. We will have some food and refreshments from 12:00 to 2:00PM. This gathering is informal and gives a chance for his friends to look at photos and share their remembrances of Chris. Chris’s Death was preceded by the death of his parents, Keith and Roberta Stanley. He has one sister Lynn Stanley and she is married to Rodney Hamblen. Please, no flowers. Donations to the Life Journey Church or American Heart Association would be appropriate. The one common thread that I can think of from his childhood until now is solid and lasting relationships he has built with good friends because he has helped friends out. Chris moved to the Indy area in just 2013 and in that short time he has formed lasting relationships. Originally from Kansas City Kansas, we grew up in a family with a lot of cousins. A familiar trait among the Stanley family was collection of family members for big holiday gatherings. Although it was never as portrayed like in a Normal Rockwell painting, but several in the family almost look back on these gathering as if they were like the idyllic paintings. Even as a child, Chris had good relationships with the adults and he spent a lifetime of helping out some of them as they grew elderly. It almost seemed that concept of big holiday dinner gatherings really stuck with Chris his whole life. Concepts of friends and family together and concepts of acceptance (that we rarely achieved) is repeated. Mom and our maternal grandmother (me too) are really into cooking for big groups of folks. Chris also could cook when he wanted to. When Chris was in Junior high we moved to Rogers AR. In Rogers High School Chris excelled in history and debate. He started college at the University of AR at Fayetteville and majored in Political Science. Chris attended the university for 2 years, but due to financial and grade problems he withdrew after two years. Living in a rural Ozark area and near a large lake, Chris learned to hunt and fish from some of his friends there. He really enjoyed the fishing. I talked to one of his friends that still lives in that area on Thursday night. They have been good friends through thick and thin. Our conversation, and many others this week really drove home the point about the depth and closeness of his relationships going back to his childhood. Chris also stayed their friend when they had negative life events and I think because Chris had experienced some of those also, so he could empathize. Chris joined the USAF in 1980-1986 and spent a lot of that time stationed at Ramstein AF base in SW Germany. He loved studying German culture, learning some of the language and his more favorite periods of military history is WWII through present. Over the years we have gone to several Memorial Day airshows. Chris really like talking about the different planes and reliving AF. I noticed in his DD214 discharge papers he had several accolades from the AF. In Germany he was able to procure off-base housing, and he and his room-mates, 3 or 4 I think had lots of fun attending the Rhineland Beer and Brat fests. After the USAF, he worked in Dhahran Air Force Base (Lear Zigler contract) in Saudi Arabia for 3 years. He disliked living in the American compound and all the severe restrictions on his personal life. I think he spent a lot of his earnings flying over to Italy on weekends. A lot of Chris’s work experience from the AF and Saudi didn’t always translate to offers of good employment in the late 90’s and early 2000. He worked call centers and loss prevention. It impacted Chris’s self esteem to have jobs he felt was not at the intellectual level he desired. But even in jobs that were not his top career choices he had made lasting relationships through work. In this time he had got pretty good with computers and commonly set-up desktops and helped his friends out with their operating system set ups. This was early or pre internet days and on-line help was not available at your fingertips like it is today. Chris moved in with my husband Rodney and me in 2013. I know he was depressed in association with his health problems that led to his job loss. One ray of light in there was meeting Joey Domingo, his Philippine fiancée on-line around that time. Through skype they were able to chat and commiserate their situations in life. Joey really helped keep Chris going when Chris was at his low points. Although Chris’s transition to the Donald Moreau Veterans Housing was emotionally tough for Chris, he was able to get into group counseling and establish new friendships and get back into alignment with some veterans organizations. His disability compensation was ultimately approved and he was able to get his own apartment over off 38th and Kessler. I know he really enjoyed getting his own apartment again. One thing I think that really really kept him going was planning for a future with Joey, once Joey would be able to immigrate to the US. Chris got to have a trip of a lifetime here recently (Christmas 2016) to travel to the Philippines and meet Joey’s family, see where they lived and worked and work on the VISA paperwork. His friends Loyd and Ricki were instrumental in advise on the VISA paperwork. My heart is broken for Joey as he has lost his love and a chance to come to the US. Joey has strong Christian faith in the Methodist Church and I can only hope he can come out of this loss OK. It is so sad for him to have to deal with this long-distance and not be here to help out and share hugs and stories. It breaks my heart for him. One thing that went hand in hand with increased computer usage was social media and blogging. Close as it kept Chris in communication with his friends, it was detrimental to his health. He spent more and more time on the computer and less exercise. Couple that with smoking and his health went downhill. He had a heart attack, diabetes diagnosis and a couple of years later several strokes that started a major impact in his work ability and overall health. He was able to quit smoking in 2010 after his first heart attack, but his love of rich foods was too much to over come it seemed Here recently, he had told me he was afraid of dying alone. When Chris had his choking event happen, he was enjoying a nice steak dinner with two good friends. This incident, was a very shocking event for all those that heard about it. The one small ray of light I see in this, was he didn’t die alone. My brother was one of those good persons that would go out of his way to help others. Even at times if it was in the detriment to himself. He has not attended Church regularly, until these last few years. My personal beliefs are a person can perform good acts of kindness and a lead a kind life in helping out others and ultimately be rewarded in life- it is just that rewards may not have a strict definition. Right now I hope he is in a good place where he has the love and acceptance he so deserves. I could also sum up a word or two to describe him it would be loyal. When he is treated well in his career he is an incredibly loyal worker – a consummate “company man” and enjoyed his work. He is also a good team worker and I think he really helps out his coworkers, especially if they have personal issues. And he is a loyal friend.