Karen Surgalski Canty

Karen S. Canty, voracious reader, puzzler, volunteer, avid traveler, and lover of people died Friday January 9th at Stanford Hospital. I am presently attempting to compose an obit in her honor which captures her indefatigable optimism and verve. Karen was also one of the most well-read humans on planet earth (scientific fact) thus from time to time we will be using a lot of Fuchs words*.

She was born Karen Veronica to parents Harry and Edea Surgalski in Herrin, IL November 10th, 1945. First generation American on Harry’s side and second on Dea’s (note: often pronounced “day"). And surprise, but welcome younger sister to Patricia “Pat” by almost 10 years.

The village that raised her – Freeman Spur — also included uncles Check, Alec, Huck, Johnny, and Aunt Stella. On Dea’s side Auntie Ann and Uncle Lee. Along with a host of other legends in their own time – too many to fully mention here – but naming Art, Rena, Mary, Ralph, Mack, Cecil, Babs, Tommy, Ramona, Malcom, Kathy, Spunky, and later, Ace.

Karen was Herrin High’s homecoming queen in 1963 (a major boon for the small town of Freeman), one of the fighting Illini, and the first in her family to graduate a four-year university. At U of I she would pledge Pi Beta Phi where she would meet the women who would later become known, with “K”, as the Mag 7 – Suez, Glo, Lizzie, LA, Debster and Rah.

After graduation she followed her beloved Pat to Chicago where she would learn that steak was not best when cooked to well done on the family’s furnace. Once introduced to medium rare she never looked back.

In Chicago she became sister-in-law to Tom Kapsalis and later TeeTee to her nephew Billy and niece Alexa – a name that would stick with the rest of the family’s kids Beth, Mark, Jon (dearly departed), Jen, Kyle, Tari and David.

She was hired at A.G. Becker in the Personnel department, later becoming its head and then first female VP. Her proudest accomplishment there was instituting the company’s first paid maternity leave. More importantly (to us at least), she would also meet her soul mate Ed Canty. Thus ensued a “will-they-won’t-they” that some say is the inspiration for many a workplace romance.

They eventually would. But only after having to receive a special dispensation from Becker’s Board of Directors to make public their relationship. Marrying Ed in 1973 brought Ed Sr. and Shirley Canty officially into her circle as well as Hugh Sr., Lucille, Jimmy, Mickey, Hugh and Jean. And the grand adventure of what would eventually become their 53-year marriage.

With the birth of her daughter Jessica Erin (that’s me) in 1979, Karen left the paid workforce and would dedicate her formidable brain power to motherhood, public education, the arts, and teen mental health advocacy for the rest of her life.

Son Paul Harry followed in 1982 and in 1984 the family relocated to Silicon Valley as Ed had an opportunity to join a nascent AI company Teknowledge. Yes, you read that correctly. In 1984.

In Menlo Park, CA the family would settle in the house on Ringwood, across from Laurel School and down the street from M-A. She became a member of a monthly women’s book club for over 30 years; the ladies would inspire their husbands to do the same (which has lasted as long). And reluctant owner of hamster Buttercup, rat Whiskers, and dog Barley, all of whom she would eventually come to adore.

Karen’s leadership enriched the community as President of the Laurel Elementary School PTA, Board Member of the Hillview Middle School PTA, Secretary and Treasurer of the Menlo Park PTA Council, Chair of the Laurel School Site Council, Co-President of the Menlo-Atherton High School PTSA, President of the Menlo Park Lyceum, and assistant softball coach of the Menlo Park Little league. She lent her enthusiasm to Art-In-Action for over 30 years and along with a group of dedicated parents worked tirelessly to institute diversity and leadership programs at Menlo-Atherton, which remain to this day.

Karen was elected to the Menlo Park Elementary School District Board of Trustees where she served for 12 years and, from 1992 to 1994 as Board President. A member of the Executive Board of the SMCSBA, she also served a term as its President. She then distinguished herself on the California School Boards Association as a member of the Delegate Assembly, Policy Platform Committee, and Task Force on Diversity and completed the CSBA Master of Boardsmanship. She then served on the boards of Adolescent Counseling Services, and the Peninsula College Fund.

Karen voted in every single election that occurred in her adult life and probably made you vote too. Her eye for talent (honed in her role at Becker) spotted a young Senator from Illinois the 2004 DNC broadcast – who she would begin whispering about to friends locally. And once it was official, Karen would immediately join the Palo Alto campaign office helping to ensure Obama’s election 2008 and then again in 2012.

A Malcom Gladwell “connector” person, think globally-act-locally change maker, and MSNBC and late-night talk show super fan. A better home cook than she gave herself credit for – but willingly relinquished to Ed (after Jess and Paul gave him a cooking class for his birthday — which she joked ultimately was a present for her).

Do you know the name of your butcher? Karen did – so we would like to acknowledge just some of the Menlo Park and Palo Alto community members she loved to see on her errands including Tony, Olga and Lydia (Draegers), Nina (Tailor), Malika (Gitane), Nicki and George (of the former Ann’s Coffee Shop) and the late Hubert Braun who lovingly styled her hair for over 35 years.

She was a lover of impressionism, the theater, movies, and SF Symphony where she and Ed had their date-nights in the 80’s and 90’s. Topaz and sapphires, Bath and Body Works warm vanilla sugar, fresh and dried lavender, croissants, tapioca pudding, pecan turtles, stroganoff, Chicago deep dish and later Ed’s own homemade pizzas. Gnocchi, butter pecan ice cream, canned peaches, pierogies, cottage cheese, her son-in-law Brian Gilleece’s grilled cheese (you’ll have to ask him the secret), and her mother’s spaghetti sauce. Travel — especially Paris, New York, and visiting Jess and Paul in LA and Hawaii respectively. She vacationed in Europe numerous times in her life most recently to Greece during the midst of her five-year cancer battle.

Five years which were provided by science and the loving care, intellect and expertise of her Doctors Jamelian, Dorigo, and Giattina, their stellar teams, and the incredible nurses at the Stanford Cancer Clinic Redwood City and Stanford Hospital ICU, especially April and Keena, who both literally and figuratively held our hands.

She excelled at giving useful advice, sending you the article you needed to read, canasta, pinochle and bridge, trying new things, raising children to become happy, healthy and funny (we think) adults, laughing jags, and the art of the visit.

She endeavored to see the best in people even when it was difficult, and she consciously refused judgement. She hated little save for misogyny, hypocrisy, and mealy fruit.

An extrovert, people energized her. And because of her formidable interviewing skills she could get to the heart of anyone within minutes without them realizing it. She gained immense pleasure from finding the connection with anyone she encountered – often in those aisles of Draeger’s or the outdoor tables at Borrone’s.

She believed in family, equal rights and opportunity, and that the vast majority of people are fundamentally good.

In lieu of flowers, she would want you to buy them for yourself. Having quit smoking in the early 80’s she redirected those resources to a weekly bouquet for the kitchen table. Seriously though, please don’t send any flowers – rest assured we are keeping her kitchen table tradition going.

Karen would instead encourage you to give to one of the aforementioned youth-oriented charities, or simply swing by Keplers and buy yourself a book - an idea we love raised by her manicurist of over 40 years Tina Canada (who you should definitely go get some pampering from).

We find ourselves wanting to continue extolling her innumerable virtues and clever and sharp intellect. And endings in writing, as in life, are notoriously tricky. Ending this tribute feels like yet another hard step in these melancholic days following her death.

Her friendships run deep far and wide and are too many to mention but we would like to acknowledge Kathy Wheeler, Malcom Zwick, Debbie and Curt Yoshizumi, Lyn and Pete Conway, Celia Walker, Jackie Walker, and the late Ann Wilkinson, Sharon Dalton, and Gary Walker. Sylvia, Patti, Mark, Adam, Nicole, Travis, Siena, Yvonna, Angela, Kim, Phillipe, Byron, Samantha, Roberto, George, Donna, Garry, Ceevah, Irwin, Peg, Frank, Anne, Jim, Judy, Gerron, Eric, Judy, Wally, Barbara, Christina, and Erica.

Family who survive her along with those already mentioned include also daughter-in-law Emily Stapleton, goddaughter Alexa Rose; Angela and Paul Restivo; Marty Salina; Amy, Tommy and Will Kapsalis; Kieran, Jack and Annie Clarke; Nell, Connor, Katie and Helen; Mark and Carlo; Sandi, Kara, Erin and Jeremiah; Kent, Dean and Lilly; Donna, Ethan and Owen; Larry and Francesca; Salina and Travis; Kevin and Ashley; Mary Jo and Bill Kapsalis and Doug Richter; Mariann and Larry; Margaret Ann, Aimee, Darren, Jayden and Aunt Virginia who is still making pierogies at 96.

A memorial service is being planned for the afternoon of March 21st with a Bay Area location to be determined.

Goodnight Karen V., wherever you are.

P.S. Having never written an obituary before but wanting to capture Karen’s bright personality a little research led Jess to the obituary of Harry Weathersby Stamps. The first name connection to her Sweetheart Grandpa is not lost on her. And because mom would want her to give credit where credit is due – thank you to this family who we will never know but whose loving and funny tribute inspired this writing and helped us through our own difficult time.

*If you had the privilege of being taught by Mr. Fuchs you learned how to spell, syllabify, and define hundreds of words in preparation for the SAT.