Constance Alletta Gardner

Grandma,

I love you and am so grateful for the time we had together. You often talked of how you saw you first born grandson come into this world - and now here I am to see you out. Hindsight is a strange thing. Why is it that you don't start to fully realize the profound impact someone has had on you until after they have left?

I remember being a small child, learning how to turn soil and plant sunflower seed on the sunny side of your old house. The memories have come thick and fast in you departure: raking the yard, climbing the trees, Mother's Day on the back porch, mixed PB and jelly jars, burned food but perfect pancakes, wooden blocks and tinker toys, water bed, helping with chores, playing basketball out front or pool in the basement, skiing and swimming in Vail, constructing homes with habitat for humanity, staying up too late in the spare room watching tv and then telling you I was "just checking the time"... In any case... it seemed like it took an eternity in those days, by the end of the summer stood huge sunflowers.

True to your name, you were always gardening - both literally and figuratively. In the everyday moments we had together in my youth, little did I know you were also planting seeds of wisdom and compassion in my young head. You got me to think, you guided my mind, you facilitated my learning how to learn when many systems around me worked towards to opposite. You were my first model of an educator. In hindsight, it's easy to see how central to were, and continue to be, in my own path into education and the world at large. You inspire me and my work on more ways than I can say. Looking from this vantage point, with you no longer physically here, it is clear to see how you live on in me all the others you have touched in your beautiful time on this planet.

You were always there to support you loved ones. From small acts of kindness, to huge acts of love - you were a central supportive pillar bridging my life in Seattle when things got bumpy in my mid-teens. As we grew closer and our relationship matured, your often refrains were : "are you sure you have enough help" "please take care of yourself" "I just sent you some top quality water filters" "Vitamins are in the mail" and "are you eating alright". Phone calls with you were some of the most important time I have spent on this planet. We had an uncanny ability to "un-funk" each other and you were always willing to lend an ear and excited about what I was up to. We talked often about what it meant for me to "carry to torch" into the future, and how key you have been to my success in life. You told me once that, a ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are made for. Thank you for helping me learn the skills I need to be the captain of my ship in this worldly sea, and to carry this torch into an unknown future.

I'm so proud of the person you have been in my life. You have done amazing in this life, you have "passed the torch" to me and so many others - I'm going to carry it as far as I can before I see you on the other side.

Save some strawberries and cream for me up there.

All my love and more,

Jordan

To my Grandmother,

Constance Gardner, the amazing woman who with two hands and one giant heart, did the work of four grandparents. She never missed a Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthday, or Graduation. She may have arrived fashionably late most of the time, but she always showed up. Well, except for my birth, which she still made a point to apologize for, every year, even on her last day on this earth. Though I feel the void left in her sudden absence, I cannot help but to also feel her comforting presence, alive in my memories and deep within the very essence of my being. I am consoled to know that this powerful feeling of sorrow exists only in the aftermath of such a brilliant, and life-altering love. So, let us leave our mourning in the shadows for a moment, and instead, let’s celebrate her legacy, the lessons she taught us, and the joyous nature of her spirit.

To the generous soul who shared her time and her resources endlessly with her loved ones and strangers alike.

To the social butterfly who valued all stories and perspectives and made time for any person in need of some company.

To the volunteer who sought to broaden her world view and give back to communities in need.

To the chef who managed to burn literally everything she cooked, yet consistently, made the best damn pancakes on this planet.

To the adventurous explorer who didn’t balk at the world, but embraced it, who respected and learned from different cultures, while sharing her talents and her gifts with the world.

To the mentor who taught me the value of self-creation and creativity, who wore the most outrageous ensembles, and whose hair and nail color were in constant flux in order to adapt to her moods.

To the quick-witted woman with the sass of every generation preceding her, who cracked the silliest jokes and drafted the sweetest letters.

To the wholesome grandmother, who taught me how to write in cursive, tip the service industry, explore the world, plant sunflowers, make pancakes, pull weeds, maximize a budget, ski down a mountain, and a million little lessons along the way. I am who I am because you loved me.

I hope the world beyond greeted you with a stockpile of shortbread cookies.

-Your favorite granddaughter,

Janae.

In lieu of flowers please make donations to:

1. Heifer International https://www.heifer.org/

2. Paws for Veterans http://www.pawsforveterans.com/